So What Does Harlowton, Montana Look Like You Ask?

The view from our front yard...yes, I did say YARD people..yay!!!And by yard I mean about 20 X 20ft. square of green stuff that kind of flaps in the wind. :)

Our new apartment in progress. We will have to take more pics because it looks much nicer now.

One of the girls and the apartment as a whole. Ha, ha, ha! :)

Not sure what the girls were doing but daddy was photographing it for prosperity, I think.

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

I think I've posted this Psalm before, but everytime I've visited Montana I always think of this one. And right now with all the changes and challenges that I'm facing I naturally return to this passage.

We had the pastor and his family over for dinner last night and I was reminded that I'm a stranger in a strange...very strange place. :) It was a great opportunity to get to know them a little better. They haven't lived here all their lives either so that makes me feel a little better. So, yes...good times.

The thing that has been desperatly weighing on my mind is my family. I found out that they are mad at me, not that this is any surprise. Ryan and I knew this would be the response to a move like this. It pains me because I feel trapped. I feel as if I can't be an adult and decide what I want to be and do because it will disappoint them. On the other hand, I don't understand why I am so unlovable that I could be found so wanton by those who are called to love unconditionally. The funniest thing about it all I still have an amazing peace about it all. God's working something out; I hope it comes to pass soon. :) The other thing that I'm learning (being reminded of) through this is how I don't want to react to my girls when they have families of their own, making decisions for their families. I never want to forget that what they do has very little to do with me, nor is it an expression of rejection. So the bottom line is that my heart aches that I have to go through this AGAIN with them, but I know that God is at the center of this change in our lives, my faith is unmoved.

So I pray for strength to help me show them how much I love them and how that hasn't change, nor will it change. Ay de mi!!

Blessings In The Mist Of A Bad Day Filled With Chaos

Okay...so we made it in one piece to our new apartment here in Harlowton, MT minus one crock shoe of Makala's.  We hope it blesses whoever finds it in southern Colorado.  :)  So she has new ones that are pinker than the old ones.  Yay!!  :)

So, our first full day of unpacking wasn't a good one.  It was one of those days that every little thing that can go wrong will.  I'm not talking about big things...just little everyday things like you baby spits up on  you in church and the next day pees all over your really nice clothes....so you're left looking like a frumpy mom.  You know...like you can't hold on to anything to save your life or you loose or break your favorite thing in the world.  Or you'd give anything if you could just have the ability to communicate clearly with your better half because if you have one more misunderstand you're gonna just give up on everything and go back to bed hoping when you wake up everything will be right...including your car's A/C will be working again.  :)  

This is why I believe God allows us to see the good in the mist of the chaos of life.  With everything that went wrong I was reminded that we have the nicest place in Harlowton...albeit it is a retirement community basically, but it has a yard, a garage, slip proof shower (no chuckles please...I got in trouble for sharing that funny story...sorry babe!), the girls have a huge room with a huge closet (we thought about making the closet Raquel's room...but no windows, so nope), nice carpet...really nice carpet, and a vaulted ceiling...what more could we ask for?  Perhaps a back door...he, he, he.  

I'm longing for the day when there aren't any boxes to crawl over, but at the same time knowing that we have no idea how long we will be here is hard.  I don't really want to take out anything extra from the boxes just to pack up in a couple of months.  :)  But then again we have such a nice place...and a pretty good view if you get in the right spot...that I'm not sure I would want to leave for a bigger place.  Right now I'm not really sacrificing much in the way of comfort in my home with the exception of my kitchen...our new one is about 1/3 what we had but we don't have retarded cabinets...so it's not sooooo bad, like I said not much of a sacrifice so far.  The only other thing we are sacrificing right now is that Montana (our cat) has to be at Ryan's parents and that is more of a blessing and answer to prayer because I'm not having to de-fur everything again.  I love her and miss her.  But it's nice to not have the fur ball furring up my home.  Though I do still find myself looking for her when I see a shadow out of my peripheral...so I still miss her as I said.  

But despite everything the apartment is coming together nicely.  I hope to post pics here very soon, so you all can see how beautiful it is up here.  Hope all is well with you all...until next time.  Later!

An Informational Post

I just wanted to let everyone know that I will be an internetless woman for awhile.  I have have to partake of the in-law's internet when I can.  So these will be my last few words.

Thanks for everything and off to the next chapter in this adventure we call life, eh?

The End Is Near...

Matthew 7:13-14

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

Okay, so this was weird.  This is a Scripture that was highlighted in the sermon that we heard Sunday in Dallas.  Interesting....

So, it will have very little with what I will write in the following paragraphs, but I always find these coincidences something to note.  I think at times God uses them to show us different things with the same Scripture and such.  

We are almost done with our packing, and we have about a day an a half left before we make the 4 day trip to Montana to unpack our lives into a smaller apartment.  I feel I should be overjoyed to be moving forward with my life, but to be honest I'm in deep pain.  My thoughts have been held captive with the fact that I'm clueless how my brother is doing.  It seems things aren't well with him, but I feel I'm being forced to focus on things that I feel are so trivial.  I have wanted nothing more than to see him and let him know how much I love him.  How much I will miss the ability to spend a random weekend with him and the family.  I wish so much that I could carry their burden.  But I know this burden isn't mine to carry.  There's much that each of us must endure to fulfill our journey on this side of heaven and somethings are just not ours to bear.  

So I place my trust in God and His ability to see his work to completion.  I know that He is in the mist of my brother's situation because I'm overwhelmed by His peace.  Yet, my heart breaks because I'm leaving without having the opportunity to say goodbye to those I've loved all my life. God's timing is perfect and I will wait on Him...He will strengthen me to endure my pain-stricken heart to endure this journey.  I will persevere because He has a plan, and I eagerly wait to see this unfold.  It has to be great because God is good...always.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

This has been my meditation as of late.  I just don't know what to do.  I spend most nights praying for my brother...even in my sleep I pray for him.  I toss and turn, then I realize that I'm still praying for him.  It's not the first time I've done this, but it's been a long time.  It's exhausting, but I can't help it.  So, I've had to remember the truth in the serenity prayer that we have to trust God for those things that are completely out of our control.  And I'm in a situation where I feel that is true in every aspect of my life for the moment.  More craziness abounds...