Bittersweet Memories...

Deuteronomy 7:7-9 (NIV)

7 The LORD did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. 8 But it was because the LORD loved you and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. 9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands

Today, May 11th, 2008, marks the 16th anniversary of the passing of my aunt that raised me. It's bittersweet because today is Mother's Day. I remember this day all those years ago. Remembering all the things we did the day before in celebration of that Mother's Day...our last one together as a family. It's strange to think of all that has happened in the years that have passed.

The biggest change that has happened is the fact that I found the Lord in the year that followed her death. It's strange to think that she had to pass in order for me to find what would define the rest of my life. It is never easy to loose a loved one, but it seems even more deeply painful when we are asked to sacrifice that which is most dear or brings us the most comfort to follow the Lord. As we grow in our relationship with God submitting to His will seems to get a little easier, or at least the realization that we can not fight God's will thus it is easier to just be obedient. Maybe we should look at it from a little different perspective. We have to loose something in order to gain that which is better.

This scripture was on my facebook page today. I found it intriguing because it made me think of how time goes by, and though we forget our comittments God does not. He always does what's best for us even if we don't see it at the moment.

I know that our time in Longview is limited, and sometime in the next two years we will probably be somewhere else. Most likely we will be in Montana somewhere. This is hard for me because my heart is in Houston, but I see how much my husband loves Montana. I have to admit that I love Montana too, but it's not Houston. I'm sure it will never take the place of my birth. I'm always amazed at the breathtaking view from the house here. Mountians are everywhere and they are covered with snow at the moment. It's hard to not feel closer to God here. So I guess I have a different perspective on the idea of moving this time around. We aren't running away from anything, but sacrificing an easier life for one that would provide more focus on God. Who know if/when we will actually make it to Montana, but I feel that I'm learning more of the attitude that God desires from us when there is change on the horzion. Our focus shouldn't be place on what gives us pleasure, but that which God can use to grow His heart/character in us and bring more people into a relationship with Him. This is also the attitude that we should cling to in the area of death. It's easy to never want to loose a loved one, but sometimes it's more loving, more glorifying to God if we let go of what we desire/love so much to seek out a deeper relationship with God.

Lord help me to get this through my thick skull and may it be the meditation of my heart this week.