Everyone's Favorite Dicks' Lives, Loves, Passions

Breaks...Peace...Stillness...Contentment...Calling...

2009-09-28T20:32:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a long time because I felt I needed a break from just sharing my heart. Sometimes we need to say what's on our hearts but at other times we really need to just be still, know God is God, and the biggest of all, just listen. Though, at the same time I feel I've been so distracted lately even though I've not felt as conflicted, which was part of the reason I began writing again. I felt I had so much to say, but no platform, just no where to share my feeble thoughts. Writing has helped me cement and understand God's word in the mist of times of questioning and struggle. Hopefully, writing has proved a benefit for the trasnforming of my mind. Perhaps, all that has changed was my intellectual understanding of the Word, but I hope that not to be true.

Having said that, I want to talk about peace, stillness, contentment, and God's calling. Hopefully, this will be as clear as it is in my head with so many huge ideas, but I really do feel that they are related at times in our lives. So, let's get started with reading God's word!

Psalm 46

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to Alamoth. A song. [a]

1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.

9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields [b] with fire.

10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

My entire life I feel I have lived for the mountain top experiences with God, with friends, with adventures...you know what I'm talking about...living life for the weekend attitude...living life for the external fun and excitement that can be had in this life even though I know in the deepest parts of my heart of hearts, that only God can provide an everlasting peace and contentment that can not be shaken by the waves of life. No matter what comes our way, God is the foundation we need in our daily lives that is stable like a luxury cruise ship, but at the same time, it is so easy to fall back into the mind set that we are still stuck on the dingy being toss here and there with doubts(James 1:2-8) where God found us in the beginning of our journey, even though we are aware God has given us a major upgrade at this point in life. This upgrade is a trust in God that can't be easily displaced by the circumstances of life, our fears, or anything else in this temporal world. Trust that God equips those he calls to serve even when it doesn't seem to be working that way, or the truth of the situation. This is what I feel God has been showing me in my own life in a new and refreshing way.

I don't always remember that I don't have to give into what I perceive as a failing, which in turn raises up insecrurities of the past, that in turn sends me into a tail spin of wanting to just give up. God has not allowed me to do this. Fortunately and unfortunately, I am aware that he has huge plans for me in a way I that not only brings intense humility coupled with absoulte freaked out fear that makes me want to run and hide under my couch. Sadly I can't fit under my couch, but I know I need to give in, that being so much easier said than done.

A little over a year ago I was researching how God calls people to the plan he has for them, and I read Ex. 4 and came to vs. 13-14. After reading this my heart sank because I knew that the call I "heard" in 8th grad wasn't magically going to disappear, but God will forever pursue me so I might fulfill the purpose He has called me. There is no running from God. (As if all the times I've read the story of Jonah to my children the truth of it hadn't stuck to my brain like flour to honey!)

Still, we are like that aren't we? Always at some point seeking comfort in other places than in our Most Holy God so we can run away from what is uncomfortable? Aren't we always, always let down...disappointed in the end, but yet we always end up right back to complacency. And that complacency distracts us from what God is teaching us, growing in us, and drawing us slowly away from the call God has placed on our lives.

Complacency doesn't lend itself to contentment like we think it might. We get those two words mixed up a lot of the time. God some how helps us find contentment when we are in the center of His will, and yet we will so easily trade that for the mediocre state of complacency.

So let's go through today with a new attitude and new purpose not only to love and serve the Lord with all our body, mind, and strength, but always to enjoy the blessing of the luxury cruise ship instead of the dingy, as well as taking on a renewed attitude of obedience in God's call on our daily lives and in the bigger picture of our life long ministry.

We Are All Created Equally To Be Different

2009-07-16T22:18:00.000-07:00

Romans 14
The Weak and the Strong
1Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. 2One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. 4Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

5One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. 7For none of us lives to himself alone and none of us dies to himself alone. 8If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

9For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. 10You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. 11It is written:
" 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord,
'every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.' "[a] 12So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.

13Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way. 14As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food[b] is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. 16Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. 17For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.

19Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.

22So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

So, we go to church, and we are less than impressed with the worship or the sermon. I often find myself drifting off in thought on things that honestly don't matter to the salvation of those in the congregation. I have always done this for as long as I can remember. It is so easy to think we are right in our interpretation of God's word...like Saul who later became Paul. I was reminded of this tonight when we read "Jailhouse Rock", an Arch book, that my mother-in-law gave the girls when Raquel was born. We were explaining who Paul was to Makala and it hit me again just where Paul came from. Is it any wonder why he wrote the above words? Did he not fully live both sides of the above story? How many of us have done the same thing about aspects of God, His character, or His doctrine. We haven't cornered some market on any of these godly things, and I'm reminded this is exactly why Jesus came. Through giving us the full blessings of Salvation we'd come to understand how much we do not understand apart from the mind of God, and so to become increasingly more like Him not only in mind, but heart, will, actions, and perhaps even more so in our motivations. Sigh...how long will it take to get through my thick head? I see progress, but since I'm still here I'm encouraged by the fact that means He's not finished with me.

We Are Called...

2009-02-23T13:03:00.000-08:00

Genesis 15:1-21 (NIV)

God's Covenant With Abram
1 After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision:
"Do not be afraid, Abram.
I am your shield, [a]
your very great reward. [b] "

2 But Abram said, "O Sovereign LORD, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit [c] my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?" 3 And Abram said, "You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir."

4 Then the word of the LORD came to him: "This man will not be your heir, but a son coming from your own body will be your heir." 5 He took him outside and said, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars—if indeed you can count them." Then he said to him, "So shall your offspring be."

6 Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness.

7 He also said to him, "I am the LORD, who brought you out of Ur of the Chaldeans to give you this land to take possession of it."

8 But Abram said, "O Sovereign LORD, how can I know that I will gain possession of it?"

9 So the LORD said to him, "Bring me a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old, along with a dove and a young pigeon."

10 Abram brought all these to him, cut them in two and arranged the halves opposite each other; the birds, however, he did not cut in half. 11 Then birds of prey came down on the carcasses, but Abram drove them away.

12 As the sun was setting, Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a thick and dreadful darkness came over him. 13 Then the LORD said to him, "Know for certain that your descendants will be strangers in a country not their own, and they will be enslaved and mistreated four hundred years. 14 But I will punish the nation they serve as slaves, and afterward they will come out with great possessions. 15 You, however, will go to your fathers in peace and be buried at a good old age. 16 In the fourth generation your descendants will come back here, for the sin of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure."

17 When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces. 18 On that day the LORD made a covenant with Abram and said, "To your descendants I give this land, from the river [d] of Egypt to the great river, the Euphrates- 19 the land of the Kenites, Kenizzites, Kadmonites, 20 Hittites, Perizzites, Rephaites, 21 Amorites, Canaanites, Girgashites and Jebusites."

Exodus 3:1-22 (NIV)
Moses and the Burning Bush
1 Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the desert and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. 2 There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. 3 So Moses thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up."

4 When the LORD saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!"
And Moses said, "Here I am."

5 "Do not come any closer," God said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." 6 Then he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob." At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.

7 The LORD said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. 8 So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. 9 And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. 10 So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt."

11 But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"

12 And God said, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you [a] will worship God on this mountain."

13 Moses said to God, "Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, 'The God of your fathers has sent me to you,' and they ask me, 'What is his name?' Then what shall I tell them?"

14 God said to Moses, "I am who I am . [b] This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.' "

15 God also said to Moses, "Say to the Israelites, 'The LORD, [c] the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.' This is my name forever, the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation.

16 "Go, assemble the elders of Israel and say to them, 'The LORD, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob—appeared to me and said: I have watched over you and have seen what has been done to you in Egypt. 17 And I have promised to bring you up out of your misery in Egypt into the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—a land flowing with milk and honey.'

18 "The elders of Israel will listen to you. Then you and the elders are to go to the king of Egypt and say to him, 'The LORD, the God of the Hebrews, has met with us. Let us take a three-day journey into the desert to offer sacrifices to the LORD our God.' 19 But I know that the king of Egypt will not let you go unless a mighty hand compels him. 20 So I will stretch out my hand and strike the Egyptians with all the wonders that I will perform among them. After that, he will let you go.

21 "And I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed toward this people, so that when you leave you will not go empty-handed. 22 Every woman is to ask her neighbor and any woman living in her house for articles of silver and gold and for clothing, which you will put on your sons and daughters. And so you will plunder the Egyptians."

Exodus 4:1-17 (NIV)

Signs for Moses
1 Moses answered, "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'The LORD did not appear to you'?"

2 Then the LORD said to him, "What is that in your hand?"
"A staff," he replied.

3 The LORD said, "Throw it on the ground."
Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it. 4 Then the LORD said to him, "Reach out your hand and take it by the tail." So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand. 5 "This," said the LORD, "is so that they may believe that the LORD, the God of their fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has appeared to you."

6 Then the LORD said, "Put your hand inside your cloak." So Moses put his hand into his cloak, and when he took it out, it was leprous, [a] like snow.

7 "Now put it back into your cloak," he said. So Moses put his hand back into his cloak, and when he took it out, it was restored, like the rest of his flesh.

8 Then the LORD said, "If they do not believe you or pay attention to the first miraculous sign, they may believe the second. 9 But if they do not believe these two signs or listen to you, take some water from the Nile and pour it on the dry ground. The water you take from the river will become blood on the ground."

10 Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."

11 The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."

13 But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."

14 Then the LORD's anger burned against Moses and he said, "What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and his heart will be glad when he sees you. 15 You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. 16 He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him. 17 But take this staff in your hand so you can perform miraculous signs with it."

Isaiah 6:1-13 (NIV)

Isaiah's Commission
1 In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. 3 And they were calling to one another:
"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory."

4 At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke.

5 "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."

6 Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. 7 With it he touched my mouth and said, "See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for."

8 Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!"

9 He said, "Go and tell this people:
" 'Be ever hearing, but never understanding;
be ever seeing, but never perceiving.'

10 Make the heart of this people calloused;
make their ears dull
and close their eyes. [a]
Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts,
and turn and be healed."

11 Then I said, "For how long, O Lord?"
And he answered:
"Until the cities lie ruined
and without inhabitant,
until the houses are left deserted
and the fields ruined and ravaged,

12 until the LORD has sent everyone far away
and the land is utterly forsaken.

13 And though a tenth remains in the land,
it will again be laid waste.
But as the terebinth and oak
leave stumps when they are cut down,
so the holy seed will be the stump in the land."

Matthew 9:9-13 (MARK 2:13-17 and LUKE 5:27-32 call him Levi)

The Calling of Matthew
9As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

10While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. 11When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"

12On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.'[a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

I've been meditating on the concept of being called by God to fulfill His purpose for our lives. So, I have compiled a few examples here. What is striking to me is the humanity that is highlighted in each example. How awesome is it that God doesn't tell these guys to check their humanity at the door, rather inspite of their flaws God openly called them to himself, meets them where they are at, and leads them into awesome lives of service to Him and others? Is this not what God desires for all who follow His call for our lives? Aren't we all called?

Another thing that is striking is that each of them were living their normal lives and God intrupts them to change their paths. Many times I think we convince ourselves that we have to sit, waiting to hear from God about what we are called to do, but these examples might serve to change our minds.

The last thing that was striking was that God presented each with truth either through words or by His mere presence truth highlighted the depravity of the individual's sin-nature. We have to be willing to face the whole truth of who we are, good or bad, to find the freedom God can bring to each of us. When we find freedom we are able to walk in obedience, and it is then that I believe we can finally move though the steps to find our purpose in this life. The process is difference for each of us, but there seems to be some similarities to help us through the situation. So, there is hope for those of us who are still searching out our purpose, or if there is the feeling that maybe God is pushing us in a new direction in a new season of our lives.

I feel like I'm still meditating on this, and that I have a long way to go...so we will see what is to come.

Plans and Insecurities Sometimes Give Birth to Ramblings

2009-01-25T00:14:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 16 (NIV)

1 To man belong the plans of the heart,
but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue.

2 All a man's ways seem innocent to him,
but motives are weighed by the LORD.

3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed.

4 The LORD works out everything for his own ends—
even the wicked for a day of disaster.

5 The LORD detests all the proud of heart.
Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.

6 Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for;
through the fear of the LORD a man avoids evil.

7 When a man's ways are pleasing to the LORD,
he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

8 Better a little with righteousness
than much gain with injustice.

9 In his heart a man plans his course,
but the LORD determines his steps.

10 The lips of a king speak as an oracle,
and his mouth should not betray justice.

11 Honest scales and balances are from the LORD;
all the weights in the bag are of his making.

12 Kings detest wrongdoing,
for a throne is established through righteousness.

13 Kings take pleasure in honest lips;
they value a man who speaks the truth.

14 A king's wrath is a messenger of death,
but a wise man will appease it.

15 When a king's face brightens, it means life;
his favor is like a rain cloud in spring.

16 How much better to get wisdom than gold,
to choose understanding rather than silver!

17 The highway of the upright avoids evil;
he who guards his way guards his life.

18 Pride goes before destruction,
a haughty spirit before a fall.

19 Better to be lowly in spirit and among the oppressed
than to share plunder with the proud.

20 Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers,
and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.

21 The wise in heart are called discerning,
and pleasant words promote instruction. [a]

22 Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it,
but folly brings punishment to fools.

23 A wise man's heart guides his mouth,
and his lips promote instruction. [b]

24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

25 There is a way that seems right to a man,
but in the end it leads to death.

26 The laborer's appetite works for him;
his hunger drives him on.

27 A scoundrel plots evil,
and his speech is like a scorching fire.

28 A perverse man stirs up dissension,
and a gossip separates close friends.

29 A violent man entices his neighbor
and leads him down a path that is not good.

30 He who winks with his eye is plotting perversity;
he who purses his lips is bent on evil.

31 Gray hair is a crown of splendor;
it is attained by a righteous life.

32 Better a patient man than a warrior,
a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.

33 The lot is cast into the lap,
but its every decision is from the LORD.

Today I am reminded about how we plan for something and sometimes something completely comes of our plans. Sometimes things end up completely different than we plan. I participated in a watercolor workshop today because I love creating art, but I'm not great technically at it. I would love to be, but I've had very little professional training in the various mediums. So, I've embarked on an adventure to ease my fears, my insecurities in my artistic expressions. I have a clear plan before me, right?

Well, my experience at this workshop reminded me of my own frustration with my art. I plan one thing in my head, but by the end the art piece has taken on a life of it's own and becomes something I'd not planned. This isn't always bad, but it isn't alway good either. The main painting that we worked on through out the workshop was a typical subject that I paint--a landscape. But, there are certain techniques that I really struggle with thus the reason for taking the time to attend a workshop. Though I started with the intent to NOT do what I usually do, but old habits are hard to break. In the end, I still reverted back to what I knew well even thought I knew that it usually fails me when all was said and done. So, as far as creating a masterpiece I did not and it has eluded me once again, but I did learn a great deal. In fact, I learned much more than I'd planned.

All of this has led me down a path of asking a few questions. One, why do we plan in the first place when we know that it rarely works the way we planned? Two, when we get in a pinch why do we so easy throw the plan to the wind and revert back to what fails us? Three, why do we allow our fears and insecurities determine our path and/or our plan? I think that the first one I think is easy, at least for me, because I love knowing where to go next and have an idea of the result of a certain situation. This helps define what and why I am doing something, meaning what I'm doing has a purpose. We're all about finding purpose in our lives. The next question might be a little harder to answer because we don't always want to be as honest as is necessary with ourselves to answer it or maybe we don't see it in ourselves in the first place. As far as my art goes it's because I have always found acrylics easier to use and the techniques were much easier to wrap my head around, but these techniques aren't very useful when you are creating art work in watercolor. There are different brush strokes, methods of applying the paint to the surface being used, and how general concepts are interpreted in the process of artistic expression of light sources, shadows,varying hues...etc.

Now what does all of this discussion of watercolors have to do with Proverbs? Well, I was impressed with the failure of my plans to not do what I usually do, but I ended up doing. I have seen myself do this with so many things in my life whether it is my husband, my children, or things I should take to God, but convince myself that it's not necessary because it seems silly like my watercolor. Sometimes I do this with things that are important that I take to God, but because I may have experienced something similar and the last time I handled it well. The problem with the latter is that sometimes we are presented with similar situations so that we can learn something different or build on what we've already learned like in art. But when we fail to learn to lean on God to guide our paths what we lose usually is much more than just the need to start a painting over. Sometimes we say things we didn't plan. Sometimes we do things that we didn't plan that also end up hurting others or takes away things we love to do. But this Proverb in verse 3 reminds us that if we will "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

So as I continue to explore other mediums in art that I will keep in mind the appropriate techniques for that medium, and continue to seek God even in the mundane, everyday little things that are so easy to take for granted.

The Blameless Life

2009-01-13T20:09:00.000-08:00

Psalm 101 (NIV)

Of David. A psalm.
1 I will sing of your love and justice;
to you, O LORD, I will sing praise.

2 I will be careful to lead a blameless life—
when will you come to me?
I will walk in my house
with a blameless heart.

3 I will set before my eyes
no vile thing.
The deeds of faithless men I hate;
they will not cling to me.

4 Men of perverse heart shall be far from me;
I will have nothing to do with evil.

5 Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret,
him will I put to silence;
whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart,
him will I not endure.

6 My eyes will be on the faithful in the land,
that they may dwell with me;
he whose walk is blameless
will minister to me.

7 No one who practices deceit
will dwell in my house;
no one who speaks falsely
will stand in my presence.

8 Every morning I will put to silence
all the wicked in the land;
I will cut off every evildoer
from the city of the LORD.

This past year, well almost a year, I have been meditating on walking blamelessly, or living the blameless life. This was an interesing Psalm I came across today. It's interesting the contrast here between the blameless life, the life of the wicked, and the end result of each.

I love how King David focuses on God's love and His justice. I rarely think positively about God's justice though I probably should. King David is praising God for His love and justice. It's similar to praise God in all situations, much easier said than done.

In verse 2, he says "I will be careful to lead a blameless life—when will you come to me?
I will walk in my house with a blameless heart." First, he comments that he will "be careful to lead a blameless life..." This is someting that really hit me like a brick the first time I was impacted by this concept of blameless. We have to be careful to be blameless, as in a very deliberate way. The second thing that is reallly striking is his statement that he "will walk in my house with a blameless heart." This seems odd to my human understanding because walking into one's home is seems like such a trivial activity, but this suggests that God is concerned with seemingly unimportant details. Meaning that we have to be conscience of every aspect of every moment of our lives and evaluating everything that is in our thoughts and hearts.

In verse 3, he states that he will "set before his eyes no vile thing." Again here the furthering of the concept that we have to be deliberate in all we do to walk blamelessly. It is less about the do's and don'ts of living this life and becoming more who God desires us to be, separate and blameless and holy.

In verse 6, when he says, "he whose walk is blameless will minister to me" we need to understand how our daily blameless walk not only sets us apart and is a witness to thoes who do not know God, but also it is an encouragement to our fellow believers. So often we focus so much on those who are lost that we forget about those who are wondering away from the flock in our distrating search for the one lost sheep. Both are very important to Him, and we have to focus on who God is telling us to minister to, as well as this understanding of the influence on all who see our daily walks.

So, I continue to long to walk blamelessly each day, though I know I am not completely there and as with all things will probably never get there until I am fully transfigured on the other side basking in God's glory!

Purpose In Our Struggles...

2009-01-01T19:48:00.000-08:00

Ecclesiastes 2:17-26 (NIV)

Toil Is Meaningless
17 So I hated life, because the work that is done under the sun was grievous to me. All of it is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. 18 I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me. 19 And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the work into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. 20 So my heart began to despair over all my toilsome labor under the sun. 21 For a man may do his work with wisdom, knowledge and skill, and then he must leave all he owns to someone who has not worked for it. This too is meaningless and a great misfortune. 22 What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? 23 All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless.

24 A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? 26 To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

The simple concept to gleen from this passage, as I see it, is in verses 24-26: Life without God is without purpose, but a rather meaningless existance. I know it wasn't that hard to figure that out. :)

I think this isn't as easy to see when you are young. You see the world so differently. You have the idealistic and optimistic view that you can change the world. Now that I am older I believe I relate to this scripture more and more. My world is much smaller, and I truly understand how little I control and can change even less. But I am confident in my faith in what God does control, and what he can and does change. That may seem to some a very pessimistic view to take, but I believe it is the truth. We were not created to "chase after the wind" in this life. We were created to chase after the Living God. Our purpose can not be found apart from Him, nor can we continue to chase after our purpose all of our lives faithfully with out the ultimate faithful one.

Things To Be Mindful of During The Christmas Season...

2008-12-18T00:48:00.000-08:00

Luke 1:46-55 (NIV)

Mary's Song
46And Mary said:
"My soul glorifies the Lord
47and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48for he has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
49for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is his name.
50His mercy extends to those who fear him,
from generation to generation.
51He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
52He has brought down rulers from their thrones
but has lifted up the humble.
53He has filled the hungry with good things
but has sent the rich away empty.
54He has helped his servant Israel,
remembering to be merciful
55to Abraham and his descendants forever,
even as he said to our fathers."

This was one of the first major passages that I remember after becoming a Christian. It has always been intriguing to me. Knowing all that we do about Mary's age, position in life, and everything. It's interesting all of the little details, and even more so Mary's attitude. I don't know that I'd be so willing to serve God in this manner. There have been many things that God has asked me to do, and I struggled to be obeident-even at time down right refused. What God has asked me to do in the past is in no way on the same scale as this. How humbling is that?

One random thought that popped into my mind, last Sunday I believe...Mary and Joseph were like cousins. They were both a part of David's lineage. I don't know if I'd heard that before, but it definantly sunk in last Sunday. God sealed up any question of Jesus' royal lineage here on earth. The details God pay attention to blows my mind so often. I can only imagine how much heaven is going to blow my mind!

The Distraction of Christmas

2008-12-16T00:26:00.000-08:00

1 Peter 4 (NIV)

Living for God
1Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. 2As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. 3For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. 4They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. 5But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. 6For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to men in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.

7The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. 8Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 9Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 11If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.
Suffering for Being a Christian
12Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. 13But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 14If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. 15If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 16However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. 17For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? 18And,
"If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,
what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?"[a]

19So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

These are things that I have been meditating on this Christmas season. We watch a lot of Bollywood films, which imediately turns my attention to the persecution that is occuring in India right now. I often ask myself could I stand under such pressure. I hope that I would be able to, but I'm not so sure some days.

This turned my attention to my own excitement about this time of year...about Christmas and the messages I am conveying to my girls as to what this season is really about. Am I telling my girls that this season is about presents, parties, and all the other secular concepts of the winter holiday. Or am I telling them that this is the time to rejoice that God allowed his Son to be born into the confines of this life so that we might live more abundantly? Who knows how well I'm doing with this endevor but God.

This turns my thoughts back to persecution again because there does appear to be an assault on our celebration of the birth of our Lord. It progressively gets worse and worse. Should we fear this? No. God is still in control, and he "did not give us a spirit of Fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7) Should we fight back? Not necessarily, because:

Titus 3

Doing What is Good
1Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.

3At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. 8This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

9But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. 10Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him. 11You may be sure that such a man is warped and sinful; he is self-condemned.

Then what should be our response to people who attack us and the celebration of our Lord's birth?

hilippians 2
Imitating Christ's Humility
1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Shining as Stars
12Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

14Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16as you hold out[c] the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. 17But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

Hummm...much to meditate on this Christmas and in such a way that I have never done before. So that I might be purified, and that my girls might know the Lord in a way that I did not at their tender ages. Lord, if only they could be drawn close to you and have unwavering hearts in this time of deprevation of women,mothers,family,and lack of reverance for You who first love us so that we might love others and be saved through your sacrifice of your Son. (1 John 4:7-21)

Will we remember this as we buzz here and there getting all the newest and coolest stuff that will lose its luster in just a few days? I don't know...

How Many Sermons Do You See?

2008-11-30T23:33:00.000-08:00

Romans 9 (NIV)

God's Sovereign Choice
1I speak the truth in Christ—I am not lying, my conscience confirms it in the Holy Spirit— 2I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. 3For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, those of my own race, 4the people of Israel. Theirs is the adoption as sons; theirs the divine glory, the covenants, the receiving of the law, the temple worship and the promises. 5Theirs are the patriarchs, and from them is traced the human ancestry of Christ, who is God over all, forever praised![a] Amen.

6It is not as though God's word had failed. For not all who are descended from Israel are Israel. 7Nor because they are his descendants are they all Abraham's children. On the contrary, "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned."[b] 8In other words, it is not the natural children who are God's children, but it is the children of the promise who are regarded as Abraham's offspring. 9For this was how the promise was stated: "At the appointed time I will return, and Sarah will have a son."[c]

10Not only that, but Rebekah's children had one and the same father, our father Isaac. 11Yet, before the twins were born or had done anything good or bad—in order that God's purpose in election might stand: 12not by works but by him who calls—she was told, "The older will serve the younger."[d] 13Just as it is written: "Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated."[e]

14What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! 15For he says to Moses,
"I will have mercy on whom I have mercy,
and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."[f] 16It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. 17For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth."[g] 18Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.

19One of you will say to me: "Then why does God still blame us? For who resists his will?" 20But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? "Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, 'Why did you make me like this?' "[h] 21Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for noble purposes and some for common use?

22What if God, choosing to show his wrath and make his power known, bore with great patience the objects of his wrath—prepared for destruction? 23What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory— 24even us, whom he also called, not only from the Jews but also from the Gentiles? 25As he says in Hosea:
"I will call them 'my people' who are not my people;
and I will call her 'my loved one' who is not my loved one,"[i] 26and,
"It will happen that in the very place where it was said to them,
'You are not my people,'
they will be called 'sons of the living God.' "[j]

27Isaiah cries out concerning Israel:
"Though the number of the Israelites be like the sand by the sea,
only the remnant will be saved.
28For the Lord will carry out
his sentence on earth with speed and finality."[k]

29It is just as Isaiah said previously:
"Unless the Lord Almighty
had left us descendants,
we would have become like Sodom,
we would have been like Gomorrah."[l]

I have been thinking more about Armianism and Calvinism lately. And so, this Scripture caught my eye. But, as I was reading throught it for like the millionth time I'm sure I felt bombarded by all that these 29 verses had to say. So many things I've discussed with others lately, in classes in college, and even in my study of Revelations came rushing towards me off the computer screen. So, I don't know which path to take with this passage, so I will allow it to speak for itself for now. This is why I have grown to love Romans as of late. There's just so much of God falling on me like a hurricane blowing onto shore. It's too awesome to really put into words if you know what I mean. How amazing is it that God can speak in such a way to someone like me? How humbling it is sometimes to dive into God's Word, but to emerge with boldness and overwehling love pouring off of you? Will we ask for even more, shall we be so bold to do so? Will be like Moses to tell God we want to see His Glory? Are we such a close friend to God as Moses was to have the boldness to ask such a tall request? I pray so, and if not I ask for all that I need to be found worthy to stand in the crack in the mountain to just catch a glimpse of the glory of the Living God, the Almighty.

Today I'm 30, and I Really Don't Feel Like It!!! And That's A Good Thing, Right???

2008-11-20T19:25:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 2
Moral Benefits of Wisdom
1 My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,

2 turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding,

3 and if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,

4 and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,

5 then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.

6 For the LORD gives wisdom,
and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.

7 He holds victory in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,

8 for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.

9 Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.

10 For wisdom will enter your heart,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.

11 Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.

12 Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men,
from men whose words are perverse,

13 who leave the straight paths
to walk in dark ways,

14 who delight in doing wrong
and rejoice in the perverseness of evil,

15 whose paths are crooked
and who are devious in their ways.

16 It will save you also from the adulteress,
from the wayward wife with her seductive words,

17 who has left the partner of her youth
and ignored the covenant she made before God. [a]

18 For her house leads down to death
and her paths to the spirits of the dead.

19 None who go to her return
or attain the paths of life.

20 Thus you will walk in the ways of good men
and keep to the paths of the righteous.

21 For the upright will live in the land,
and the blameless will remain in it;

22 but the wicked will be cut off from the land,
and the unfaithful will be torn from it.

I am thinking about wisdom today since I'm moving towards gaining gray hair...or whatever our idea of "wisdom" in this life might look like. I don't see myself as wise. In fact, I often thing I feel that I need to think more and say less. Too bad I don't always remember that before I speak. :) But, I have had others say that I have wisdom beyond my years because of all of the craziness that I've lived. So, perhaps in some ways I do have wisdom, but I would readily trade all the wisdom I do have for all that my little human brain that could hold of God's wisdom for my life becasue I know that His wisdom is something that has eternal power if you will.

Lord, help us to chase after your wisdom and not our own in the daily struggles, trials, mess ups, and all that come before us that requires decernment!

A Reminder of Who We Are In Christ

2008-11-07T20:14:00.000-08:00

Ephesians 1:3-23

Spiritual Blessings in Christ

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5he[c] predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace 8that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. 9And he[d] made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.

11In him we were also chosen,[e] having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, 12in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. 13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession—to the praise of his glory.

Thanksgiving and Prayer

15For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, 16I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. 17I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit[f] of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. 18I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, 19and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, 20which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. 22And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, 23which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

A couple verses of this Scripture passage was on my Facebook page today, and I decided that I would expand it for my purposes here. I don't have anything really deep about this passage because I think it's pretty straight up. I have often read this passage to remind myself of who I am in Christ because I forget it just that much because I am a very insecure person. I am very insecure when it comes to relationships since most of mine have been very strained in one way or another. I also read this for encouragement that I'm not as awkward or dumb as I feel sometimes because if you've tried to have a conversation with me, I'm sure you understand what I'm talking about. :) So because of these things I also project these weaknesses onto my relationship with God at times.

I think the reason this has been on my mind the last day or two is because I have friends who have similar struggles, misery loves company, right? But, one thing has been different in me since we decided to move to Montana which is the fact that with all the stress, craziness, disorder, lack of a schedule, two moves, the problems with the house, and adjustments that one endures with changes like these that I have had great peace. I haven't been too anxious in general minus the past couple of weeks since I've been sick and on a decongestant which took me years to figure out that was the cause of a great deal of my anxieties. I'm not riddled with nerves or fear in my everyday life like I was in high school and college. Even social situations where I would usually be so racked with nerves that I would just want to hid and never be found has subsided. I still get nervous when I share my deepest feelings with people other than Ryan of course. And, with these other people I will convince myself how stupid I sounded which riles up my insecurities where I feel like I should just avoid them because then they know how dumb I am. So, reading through this passage helps me remember that I may talk like Moses, but God still has a plan for me even if it is just to be the best mom I can be. I have to remind myself that when I think those things I have to turn to God and His Word rather than focus on lies that Satan wants me to believe.

Rethinking The Outcome...

2008-11-06T00:12:00.000-08:00

Ephesians 4:14-16,29-32

14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. 15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

I've been thinking more about the election. I've been talking to people about it and reading different opinions. I don't remember what made me think about the Westborough Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas. And I came across their opinion of Obama which was (no surprise) that he was the Anti-Christ. And they constantly do whatever they can to spew hate into the world, as if there wasn't enough of that in the world already.

So, this makes me rethink my own opinion of him. I do not agree with these people at all! But, I do know what my gut says, and it has always said to proceed with caution because this man isn't transparent with his intentions. That, for me, is a huge caution sign. No one but God knows what is unfolding with this choice. But many of us who desire to earnestly follow God are uneasy about our future because we know what is said to be our fate when the Anti-Christ does come if we continue to stand strong in the Lord. Whether you believe we will be spared any of the tribulation or that we will endure some part of it, we are confident that we will have to stand under some level of persecution. I know this undesirable for most of us, but at the same time we long to be with our God. If the latter is true, then the former should be relatively easy to put out of our minds because of the joy being with the Lord will bring us.

It is for this reason that I am not concerned for what is coming. I want to live my life as a living sacrifice, though I know I am not where I should be in this endeavor. I truly want to fully trust God in His will for his people everywhere, and I find persecution as an honorably difficult thing that so many are enduring each day in India, Africa, Indonesia, and many other places all over our world.

So, as I meditate on all these things I was reminded of how we are to reach out in love and let our words reflect the love God has poured out to us by giving us the ultimate give of salvation. What is so easily understood by those who love God with all of who they are, is completely incomprehensible to those who can not wrap their minds around a God who can truly, fully love and yet be be the ultimate just judge.

May these words from Scripture open our minds to God's true love, and not our interpretation of what love should be. God please help us to be awesome witnesses for your Kingdom in the mist of this time of great uncertainty.

The Fulfillment of a Completely Wayward Nation...

2008-11-04T20:50:00.000-08:00

Psalm 39

For the director of music. For Jeduthun. A psalm of David.
1 I said, "I will watch my ways
and keep my tongue from sin;
I will put a muzzle on my mouth
as long as the wicked are in my presence."

2 But when I was silent and still,
not even saying anything good,
my anguish increased.

3 My heart grew hot within me,
and as I meditated, the fire burned;
then I spoke with my tongue:

4 "Show me, O LORD, my life's end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.

5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath.
Selah

6 Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.

7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.

8 Save me from all my transgressions;
do not make me the scorn of fools.

9 I was silent; I would not open my mouth,
for you are the one who has done this.

10 Remove your scourge from me;
I am overcome by the blow of your hand.

11 You rebuke and discipline men for their sin;
you consume their wealth like a moth—
each man is but a breath.
Selah

12 "Hear my prayer, O LORD,
listen to my cry for help;
be not deaf to my weeping.
For I dwell with you as an alien,
a stranger, as all my fathers were.

13 Look away from me, that I may rejoice again
before I depart and am no more."

Tonight our lives are changed forever. I believe we are one step closer to Christ's return. This is strangely bittersweet. I always long for it, but I don't want to live in a nation that these men are running and being backed up by a liberal legislature. We are closer to becoming as godless as Europe. I believe this is the ultimate plan. Because I believe God is in control and behind this outcome it does make me think of what God has planned.

I know that this situation will mean the tax breaks that have helped us will be gone when they should have been a longterm solution. Also, I believe that the immorality that we struggle to swallow today will cause us to puke tomorrow. There will be greater pain and suffering to the American family because unwanted children will disappear as if they were never conceived. There will be an increase in skirting individuals' responsibilities, and we will have to bear the responsibility of the consequences of their instant self-gratification. There will be an increase in the sentiment that American's are entitled to things they do not earn.

Don't get me wrong because I am all for charity to those who truly need it, but today I have heard so many people say that they were in love with the winner of the election because he understands them. And he can provide what they need. What deepens the craziness of all this deep admiration for this mere man is that the young American's are in love with him because he is like Elvis in his time, or Paris Hilton is today. This man appears intelligent, well spoken, beautiful with a beautiful family, presidential, popular, but they don't see the man behind the curtain that is dangerous because none of these things will bring financial success, an actual end to the war they hate, health reform, or tax relief for the majority of us. What I see is the opposite because few understand that there is absolute truth in this life, and they will ultimately have to submit to it despite what they believe.

I am fully confident that God is in control and that He is orchestrating all that is going on right now. But, it does cause me to wonder where we are headed. Are we headed to pure socialistic secularism society just as Europe is? This is what our new president has been conveying will be his intent to move in that directions. Wasn't that why he went to Europe? Isn't that why they love him? Didn't he want the American people to consider how wonderful life would be like if we didn't have anything to worry about because the government would tell us what we want and take all our money? This doesn't give me any comfort because I see the future of our nation becoming so foolish, and they are completely blinded to this fact.

This cements the thoughts that I have to do my absolute best in teaching my girls that this sort of foolishness isn't the way they should go even though it isn't popular. God will not bless those who are popular, but he blesses those who are humbled before Him as well as those who serve Him fully unashamed. We have to stand in one accord to make truth once again reside in this great nation.

One thing I hope this puts an end to is the constant over exaggeration of racism in this country. I believe this proves that sexism is much greater than racism. The worse offenders of this are women themselves. If you don't believe me then talk to some one who feels strongly on either side of the conversation about whether stay-at-home moms' work is equal to their working counterparts. Or even talk about the issues that mean so much to feminist. Palin received the worse critizism from the women on the left because she was pro-life which was blown way out of proportion was the fact that her daughter made a poor choice that pushed theses individuals to crucify her as a terrible mother that worked too much to teach her daughther how to put a condom on her boyfriend instead of actually having any expectations for her daughter to live up to. Also, they said that she was inhumaine because she hunted animals that were placed on this earth for clothing and food, but again she was critisized because she wouldn't murder a baby that wasn't perfect because that's not inhumaine at all in their mind at all.

Lord help our eyes see Your Truth not what we perceive as truth that can only apply to us!

Amen!!!

Are We Seeking the Correct Justice In Our World?

2008-11-03T18:38:00.000-08:00

Habakkuk 1:2-4

Habakkuk's Complaint
2 How long, O LORD, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, "Violence!"
but you do not save?

3 Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrong?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and conflict abounds.

4 Therefore the law is paralyzed,
and justice never prevails.
The wicked hem in the righteous,
so that justice is perverted.

Habakkuk was crying out for God to right the wrong in His people. God's response to Habakkuk was basically, "If I told you wouldn't believe me, so just sit tight and watch what I'm going to do.  I am going to send the most violent, arrogant, opulent people to deliver my justice on My people. I've warned them, and they still refuse to listen and obey."

I have been meditating on the concept of justice for awhile now. I am a person that wants to see people get what they deserve like when you see someone driving recklessly. It was about a year ago when Ryan, the girls, and myself were going out to Mexican. There was this chick in an Explorer that was driving erratically to the point she almost slammed into the back of us several times. The last time she almost hit us she slammed on her breaks so hard her tires were squealing, and she had to pull off onto the shoulder. As if this wasn't egregious enough she proceeded to pass us in a no passing zone where she really couldn't see the on-coming traffic. I have to admit I wasn't happy to say the least because I had two little girls, one being a little over 6 months old.  I felt the safety of my family and myself was being compromised and there wasn't anyone to correct this maniac's behavior. After it was all over, I asked Ryan, "Why is it there is never a cop around to see this type of recklessness?!?!?!? But if you or I have a stupid light out on our licence plate there always is one to make sure we are aware?"

Maybe you have asked yourself the same question because of a similar situation. Perhaps you've even cried out for justice, but haven't seen any. I think many times we even experience similar situations with those whom we share a pew. These individuals seem to live without any thought of the consequences of their decisions, and God seems to not do anything. Perhaps you've done what we've all done at least once because we felt led to spread the truth about true Christian living was to really look like, and later learned that you pushed that person further from God. I think sometimes we get wrapped up in the legalistic list that make us feel like we are godly, and we forget that we were commanded to speak to each other in love.  (Ephesians 4:15)

Tonight is the eve of the presidential election, and I sense an air of apprehension. There are so many factors that are in play in this election that has gotten a lot of people feeling trapped. Many are questioning if either of the candidate can save us, if they can steer us out of this darkness. I think this speaks volumes to where our nation is in terms of it's faith. This really saddens me because it's hard to know how this will factor into who will win.

I have to admit that I am like a lot of people and feel that there isn't a right choice in this vote. It's truly picking the lesser of two evils. I am not afraid of what is to come because I know that God is ultimately in control, and neither of these guys can do anything apart from God. I trust God to provide and protect my family. He will be our Savior, not some politician in Washington. Still I pray because I know I still need His strength to hang in there and not be shaken by the uncertainty that the future holds no matter who is in charge next year.

Random Thoughts

2008-10-27T23:40:00.000-07:00

2 Timothy 3

Godlessness in the Last Days
1But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.

6They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, 7always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth. 8Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth—men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.

Paul's Charge to Timothy
10You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, 11persecutions, sufferings—what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them. 12In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 13while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

I came across this passage, and was intrigued with it. I don't know why I keep coming across these type of Scriptures right now, but I do. I don't know that I have any great revelation about this passage, but I felt I should share it here for what it's worth. I hope that God can help us to become more of who we should be in Him.

I will say this though, I have felt at times I relate to verse 7 where it says that these people are "...always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth." I don't know this to be true, but I feel that way at times, especially when I try to memorize Scripture. God help me in my struggles in this life to put them off and follow you unashamedily (is this even a word? I have a B.A., so I'm going with it!) with all of my being.

The only deep thought I have on this is something that I've felt for a few years now. These Scriptures resonate with what I see happening around me. I don't always know how to view these things, but I see them. I don't know what they mean in the grand sceem of things. I don't know what God is unvealing. I am doing my best to be watchful, but not be consumed with the process of watching as Jesus worned his disciples at his accention.

God help ready your people for the fulfillment of your will for us at this time in history. Help those who struggle, help those who have lost their way on this journey, and help your Church heal within, so that it can be the vessel which you can use to pour out your Spirit on this generation to raise them up for your purposes. Amen!

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made Are We?

2008-10-24T13:26:00.000-07:00

Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

This is an interesting Psalm to me. Verses 13 to 16 are used to encourage women to see themselves as God sees them and not as the world or how they see themselves. But I find the whole even more interesting. It is a great reminder of the fact that no matter what we thing we can not keep anything away from God. He knows the worst of ourselves and still he loves us, pursues us, and longs for deep relationship with us. Yet, we deceive ourselves to believe that we are crafty enough to keep our deepest sins from everyone...even God. But this just isn't the truth and this is why we have to be honest with ourselves and those around us. This is why we must be humble and not judgemental. But the best part of this Psalm is the last two verses because David gives us a great example of being honest with ourselves that since we can't deceive God we should give into His will of being free from all sin. We have to ask for all that is rebellious against God that is in us to be laid bare so that nothing will fester in the darkness of deception.

I'm reminded of all the things I struggle with each day, and how I fail to find freedom from this sin, these strongholds. I am encouraged though because I know that God's will is for me to be free and to be mastered by nothing. I know he promises me that I do not have to be tomorrow who I was when I woke up this morning. But I do feel very much like Paul when he wrote:

14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

I've often wondered when I will see freedom in the many areas that I know I struggle with. The only thing I can be certain of is that I will continue to struggle until I am on the flip side. The pushes me further towards desiring heaven. But I remember that the journey is as important as anything in this life. Just living life gives us greater opportunities to be refined, to grow in God, and find the total freedom that Jesus died to give us. Perseverance is the ultimate struggle in this life. It is the hardest thing because life is tough, rough, and intense. It is easy for us to become weary and distracted with all the ups and downs that can occur on a day-to-day basis. This is why I struggle so much because I understand that no matter how hard I try I can do nothing apart from God, yet I still forget and try in my own strength. When will I ever learn?

This Is Our New Home!!!

2008-10-20T12:37:00.000-07:00

This is the Front of the house. Kind of cute, eh?
Next we have the entry. It's small, but not too
bad.

This is the kitchen. It's bigger than it looks in this picture.

Next is the bathroom. It has a strange shower. It's not too small.

This is the upstairs living area. This will be our dinning room/tv area/play area for the girls.

The girl's bedroom. It is very small. They don't do much in they're room anyway so it shouldn't be a big deal yet.

This is our room. The swags are going, and I will replace them with chocolate colored curtains. I have a chocolate colored rug to go in here too.

This is the 3rd bedroom that is down stairs. This will be the spare bedroom/study/arts and craft studio.

This is the "Man Bench". This is just outside the downstairs bedroom. And to the left of the bench is the laundry area. It's nothing to write home about so I haven't added it. :)

This is the "Man Cave"/Theater room. This is a new style called "Retro". ;) The panelling that is.

This is the HUGE garage. This should be really nice for us since we don't have too much storage in the house.

So that is the house. I now realize I've not taken a picture of the back yard yet. I will post more pictures when I have everything in place. I hope that won't take too long!

What Are You To Do When God Calls For Change In Your Life?

2008-10-13T22:38:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 29:11-14a

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity.

I am writing this from the basement of our new home. Yes, I did say home...a house...you know one of those things you live in that isn't an apartment! I'm trying to contain my excitement about being in a house for the first time since I left my family's home 11 years ago, but I don't think it's working.  :)

It isn't a huge house, but it is spacious enough for me. It has 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, 2 living areas (the one in the basement has been dubbed "The Man Cave" by my handsome hubby), next to that is "The Man Bench" that he can work on his manly projects. The kitchen is put together a little oddly and there is NO DISHWASHER, so Ryan said that he would be my new dishwasher since he chose this house for the Man Bench, Man Cave, and the huge garage.  There is also a built-in desk in the kitchen.  The entry is very small and just to the right is this planter filled with rock.  It reminds me of a couple of Chinese restaurants in Houston, so I'm resisting the urge to stick a sign in the rocks that says, "Please Wait To Be Seated".  The front and back yards are pretty small, but that just means less grass to mow for the 3 weeks...er...I mean 3 months that you can mow, right?

So that's the house. It has taken us a lot longer to complete the move because of almost a week of snowfall. I prayed that we'd be able to find a house and move in before November 1st because my husband said that the weather would be fine until then. In hindsight, maybe before the first snow would have been a better indicator. ;) We still have about 1/3 or so of our things still in our other apartment, so we have to get those things this week hopefully.

I'm so ready for everything to be settled. I'm so thankful that we are moving now because the girls have been cool with the whole process. I remember the couple of moves I did in Jr. and Sr. high, and how hard those were for me. It's really like a fun adventure for the girls, and that is exciting for me too. For weeks before our packing and moving the girls have had runny noses with a little fever and then I would feel ill from my gallbladder issues and allergies.  We've gone back and forth that way for 3 weeks or so. It's made me so unmotivated to do the whole moving thing, well really anything. Though, who really ever wants to move?

So to the verse. I chose it because this move to Montana has been a very long journey. It has been just over 4 years since this process started for me, at least.  I can't speak for Ryan. When I have prayed about moving to Montana this scripture has come to mind very often.  It came up again when Ryan and I started talking about moving this spring.  Ryan was really unsure if we should do it or not.  It almost seemed I was more for it than he was.  After many, many, many hours (like a $1,000 worth of calls)  I began to see that he really wanted it but any apprehension I had would stop him from even considering the move.  It was probably almost a week of talking and praying when I heard from God.  (Wow, that sounds so cheesy.)  I know it was God because it wasn't so much what I wanted to hear, but when I heard I knew it was truth.  Do you know what I mean?  It's like when your dad looks at you and tells you that your behavior, friends, clothing, make-up or whatever isn't becoming.  You feel hurt or anxious by his words but you know that there is the truth that pushes you to make changes that will make you a much better person in the long run.  But you know that the change will require lots of hard work.  I felt God telling me that I needed to step out in faith, to trust Him, and that this move was a part of His plan for my family and I.  One thing that really held me back was my brother's accident.  I had considered saying no to the move because of what my family was going through because I knew it would put more stress on them, but I felt God was saying that I could choose Him or my extended family. This Scripture came to mind:

Matthew 19:16-30:The Rich Young Man

16Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"

17"Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments."

18"Which ones?" the man inquired.

Jesus replied, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, 19honor your father and mother,'[d] and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'[e]"

20"All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?"

21Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

22When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

23Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

25When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"

26Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

27Peter answered him, "We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?"

28Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother[f] or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. 30But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.

It was and it still is unbelievably hard for me. I don't know if anyone will ever totally know how hard it has been, but at the same time I've felt an unbelievable peace throughout this process. I have always been an insecure and anxious person. but this hasn't been true for this adventure. That is SO GOD and SO NOT ME! :)

So, anyway, I felt God was also saying that I needed to take one for the team in a way because Ryan needed to get away from his former job. His job wasn't good for him or for our family. He was suffering and it was causing us to suffer as well. I basically needed to do this for the well being of my family. This is so true because I have seen Ryan become much lighter in his countenance than he has been since he took over the management position at his former employer, or maybe even ever. So we've all been much happier.  Praise the Lord!

The other aspect of this adventure is that I felt like God was calling us to some sort of ministry. There is so much that has been going on with this aspect of our lives, but I will reserve that story for another entry since this one is SO long. I will say that Ryan and I have been helping his brother and sister-in-law with their youth group on Sunday night. They are super excited because they have not helpers since they started 2 years ago. I am going to go to the youth convention this coming weekend. It will be cool to be able to be away from the girls though I will miss them something awful, but it will also be cool to have the opportunity to serve.  I also get to experience something Ryan did growing up.  I hope to understand him more through this experience.

In conclusion, I love the Scriptures above and find it interesting that we so often focus on only verse 11. I love what the next few verses in Jeremiah say: 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. Maybe sometimes we get ourselves into a place of captivity when we become complacent with much less than what God plans for us because we don't trust God to do the impossible in our lives which in the end pushes us farther from Him. The plans God has for us is to draw us closer to Him, not closer to greater wealth, more friends, extra busyness, or any other worldly endeavor. He does bless His children, but his blessings aren't be be worshiped. We are to worship Him. How far do you have to grow in this area? I know I have a long way to go. But I am encouraged because I know God has promised that I will not be the same person today that I was yesterday. Praise the Lord!

I will post more often now that we have internet at home, and I will also post pictures when we get the other laptop to our new home.

Can I Have My Bed Back, Please???

2008-08-16T15:52:00.001-07:00

Psalm 19
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

2 Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.

3 There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard. [a]

4 Their voice [b] goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,

5 which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

6 It rises at one end of the heavens
and makes its circuit to the other;
nothing is hidden from its heat.

7 The law of the LORD is perfect,
reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.

8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.

9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.

10 They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.

11 By them is your servant warned;
in keeping them there is great reward.

12 Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.

13 Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.

14 May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

So Raquel and I are super sickos. So, I honestly don't have much to say other than I wish I could be in my bed right now. I hate days like this when all you can do is sleep, eat, and...well...you know. :) We all have said it before, "I wish I were a baby because there is so little stress." But let's be honest for a second, do we really like not being able to do our everyday things when we're sick or one of our kids are? Not really. We long to be healthy and on the go again...living a normal life. This reminds me I shouldn't complain about being busy, but rather to rejoice I have my health that makes it possible to be so busy.

An Answered Prayer

2008-07-14T17:15:00.000-07:00

1 Thessalonians 5

1Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, 2for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. 3While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.

4But you, brothers, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief. 5You are all sons of the light and sons of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness. 6So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled. 7For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk, get drunk at night. 8But since we belong to the day, let us be self-controlled, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. 9For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. 10He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. 11Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Final Instructions
12Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. 13Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. 14And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. 15Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.

16Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

19Do not put out the Spirit's fire; 20do not treat prophecies with contempt. 21Test everything. Hold on to the good. 22Avoid every kind of evil.

23May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 24The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.

25Brothers, pray for us. 26Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss. 27I charge you before the Lord to have this letter read to all the brothers.

28The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

Ephesians 6

Children and Parents
1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."[a] 4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Slaves and Masters
5Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 6Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. 7Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, 8because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free.

9And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.
The Armor of God
10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

19Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.
Final Greetings
21Tychicus, the dear brother and faithful servant in the Lord, will tell you everything, so that you also may know how I am and what I am doing. 22I am sending him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are, and that he may encourage you.

23Peace to the brothers, and love with faith from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 24Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love.

The Scriptures for this entry are related to prayer, but I was also intrigued by the whole as I usually am.

This is more of an informational post as much as anything. I wanted to thank everyone for their prayers for us in this transition in our lives. God has blessed Ryan with a job that he will be able to retain his RCDD and perhaps even gain further certifications. Ryan's job will be using his RCDD by designing systems for refineries, plants, and such. He is excited about learning something new. Now the prayer is for his work environment, co-workers, and the likes that he will be able to work well and connect with the people he works with. Also, we will have to move two towns to the northwest of Harlowton to Lewistown, Montana. It gets more snow in the winter since it is closer to the mountains. It is basically at the base of the mountains or you could say in the foothills of the mountains. I don't know what they are called (maybe the Snowy Mountains), but they are close to Crystal Lake. :) So, as far as I can tell we will have to perhaps buy a house since there isn't much for rental property there. But I trust that the Lord already has this detail worked out. Now it is just working on His timing, which we expect to be in the fall right now.

God answered another prayer today. We had been way over charged by Sprint and had fought with them for about a month and today Ryan finally found someone that knew the answer, that could fix the problem. PRAISE THE LORD!!! So we will be refunded about $900! I have loved Sprint and never in 7 years had any issues until now. I was about to get on a soap box to avoid them, but they saved themselves from my wrath!!! Or rather God did. :)

May God Bless Each Of You This Week!!!

A Hard Day's Work...

2008-07-12T09:36:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 20

1 Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler;
whoever is led astray by them is not wise.

2 A king's wrath is like the roar of a lion;
he who angers him forfeits his life.

3 It is to a man's honor to avoid strife,
but every fool is quick to quarrel.

4 A sluggard does not plow in season;
so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing.

5 The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters,
but a man of understanding draws them out.

6 Many a man claims to have unfailing love,
but a faithful man who can find?

7 The righteous man leads a blameless life;
blessed are his children after him.

8 When a king sits on his throne to judge,
he winnows out all evil with his eyes.

9 Who can say, "I have kept my heart pure;
I am clean and without sin"?

10 Differing weights and differing measures—
the LORD detests them both.

11 Even a child is known by his actions,
by whether his conduct is pure and right.

12 Ears that hear and eyes that see—
the LORD has made them both.

13 Do not love sleep or you will grow poor;
stay awake and you will have food to spare.

14 "It's no good, it's no good!" says the buyer;
then off he goes and boasts about his purchase.

15 Gold there is, and rubies in abundance,
but lips that speak knowledge are a rare jewel.

16 Take the garment of one who puts up security for a stranger;
hold it in pledge if he does it for a wayward woman.

17 Food gained by fraud tastes sweet to a man,
but he ends up with a mouth full of gravel.

18 Make plans by seeking advice;
if you wage war, obtain guidance.

19 A gossip betrays a confidence;
so avoid a man who talks too much.

20 If a man curses his father or mother,
his lamp will be snuffed out in pitch darkness.

21 An inheritance quickly gained at the beginning
will not be blessed at the end.

22 Do not say, "I'll pay you back for this wrong!"
Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you.

23 The LORD detests differing weights,
and dishonest scales do not please him.

24 A man's steps are directed by the LORD.
How then can anyone understand his own way?

25 It is a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly
and only later to consider his vows.

26 A wise king winnows out the wicked;
he drives the threshing wheel over them.

27 The lamp of the LORD searches the spirit of a man [a] ;
it searches out his inmost being.

28 Love and faithfulness keep a king safe;
through love his throne is made secure.

29 The glory of young men is their strength,
gray hair the splendor of the old.

30 Blows and wounds cleanse away evil,
and beatings purge the inmost being.

So yesterday I fenced for the first time in my life. Now when I say fence please don't think of this in terms of an ivy league school or anything...think barb wire and stakes. Yes, please no one pass out...I did manual labor. I can say it was the hardest day of work in my life. But it was interesting the bonding and comradely that occurs through sharing a painful experience together.

The Scripture I added today was mainly for what I meditated on periodically through out the day...I could have been asleep right now....I could be napping right now. I was reminded how much I love sleep...LOVE sleep I do SO much!!! Especially that day. But I would have to say that I "felt" awesome after accomplishing something that I couldn't alone. I have memories and stories to share with for a long time to come. And to think of what I would have missed if I had been napping. Anyway, I thought the whole chapter was interesting and worth reading and posting.

Thoughts For A Wayard Nation With Wayard Hearts....

2008-07-06T12:18:00.000-07:00

Hosea 5
Judgment Against Israel
1 "Hear this, you priests!
Pay attention, you Israelites!
Listen, O royal house!
This judgment is against you:
You have been a snare at Mizpah,
a net spread out on Tabor.

2 The rebels are deep in slaughter.
I will discipline all of them.

3 I know all about Ephraim;
Israel is not hidden from me.
Ephraim, you have now turned to prostitution;
Israel is corrupt.

4 "Their deeds do not permit them
to return to their God.
A spirit of prostitution is in their heart;
they do not acknowledge the LORD.

5 Israel's arrogance testifies against them;
the Israelites, even Ephraim, stumble in their sin;
Judah also stumbles with them.

6 When they go with their flocks and herds
to seek the LORD,
they will not find him;
he has withdrawn himself from them.

7 They are unfaithful to the LORD;
they give birth to illegitimate children.
Now their New Moon festivals
will devour them and their fields.

8 "Sound the trumpet in Gibeah,
the horn in Ramah.
Raise the battle cry in Beth Aven [a] ;
lead on, O Benjamin.

9 Ephraim will be laid waste
on the day of reckoning.
Among the tribes of Israel
I proclaim what is certain.

10 Judah's leaders are like those
who move boundary stones.
I will pour out my wrath on them
like a flood of water.

11 Ephraim is oppressed,
trampled in judgment,
intent on pursuing idols. [b]

12 I am like a moth to Ephraim,
like rot to the people of Judah.

13 "When Ephraim saw his sickness,
and Judah his sores,
then Ephraim turned to Assyria,
and sent to the great king for help.
But he is not able to cure you,
not able to heal your sores.

14 For I will be like a lion to Ephraim,
like a great lion to Judah.
I will tear them to pieces and go away;
I will carry them off, with no one to rescue them.

15 Then I will go back to my place
until they admit their guilt.
And they will seek my face;
in their misery they will earnestly seek me."

Eschatology has been on my mind a great deal lately. Probably because I feel like many Americans this election year. There is no good choice, and if we choose someone will it bring the ruin of our nation with it?

I have been reading through the Chronological Bible to read through this year. It is very good! (Thanks to Jenny Webb mentioning it.) Anyway, I am very behind because of purchasing it a month and a half after the year started, my surgery, birthdays, vacations, and moving. So, I am reading in two places to get caught up. Ha, ha...we will see if I finish this year. I said that to say that I'm reading through the prophets, and I just finished up Hosea. I've always found this book fascinating because of what God asked Hosea to do by marrying a prostitute to communicate visually for His wayward people His perfect love. It is so amazing the lengths God goes to because He loves His people and wants to help us be the best we can be as we are made in his image. What a reminder that each of us has a duty to seek God to keep our wayward hearts in submission to Him. I often find myself distracted from what I should be doing which makes me long for heaven, so I am no longer burdened by such meaninglessness. I can fully worship God with my all.

I included the whole chapter because I love taking Scripture as a whole thought rather than a little blurb here or there. There are parts of this chapter that brings thoughts to the condition of our nation and how I feel no comfort in the changes that are certain to come with a new presidency. I can't imagine things getting worse but I know that can and probably will. I am not shaken by this though because I know God is in control, and will keep those who love Him. I am also challenged by this promise too. I know that I am not always faithful in my love and my relationship with God. I also struggle to serve God as He would have me because of my shyness. Since we are in a much smaller church in a very different culture God is challenging me in this area. We knew that Ryan's brother would ask us to help with the youth group and this has always scared me because let's be honest...I'm not that cool. ;) So, Ryan wants to help his brother, and I have to figure out how to help him and serving in this capacity. The adventure thickens along with the plot of life, right?

Happy 4th of July To Everyone!!

2008-07-05T11:20:00.000-07:00

Psalm 9
For the director of music. To the tune of "The Death of the Son." A psalm of David.
1 [a]I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;
I will tell of all your wonders.

2 I will be glad and rejoice in you;
I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.

3 My enemies turn back;
they stumble and perish before you.

4 For you have upheld my right and my cause;
you have sat on your throne, judging righteously.

5 You have rebuked the nations and destroyed the wicked;
you have blotted out their name for ever and ever.

6 Endless ruin has overtaken the enemy,
you have uprooted their cities;
even the memory of them has perished.

7 The LORD reigns forever;
he has established his throne for judgment.

8 He will judge the world in righteousness;
he will govern the peoples with justice.

9 The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble.

10 Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

11 Sing praises to the LORD, enthroned in Zion;
proclaim among the nations what he has done.

12 For he who avenges blood remembers;
he does not ignore the cry of the afflicted.

13 O LORD, see how my enemies persecute me!
Have mercy and lift me up from the gates of death,

14 that I may declare your praises
in the gates of the Daughter of Zion
and there rejoice in your salvation.

15 The nations have fallen into the pit they have dug;
their feet are caught in the net they have hidden.

16 The LORD is known by his justice;
the wicked are ensnared by the work of their hands.
Higgaion. [b] Selah

17 The wicked return to the grave, [c]
all the nations that forget God.

18 But the needy will not always be forgotten,
nor the hope of the afflicted ever perish.

19 Arise, O LORD, let not man triumph;
let the nations be judged in your presence.

20 Strike them with terror, O LORD;
let the nations know they are but men.
Selah

I just wanted to say happy 4th to everyone. We shot off fireworks last night which was fun, but it made me miss my family. It reminded me of when my family and I would shoot fireworks off. Good memories! Well, I'm going to go enjoy a steak dinner and 78 degree weather...stay cool my friends back home. We miss ya!!

2008-07-01T18:24:00.000-07:00

Psalm 63
A psalm of David. When he was in the Desert of Judah.
1 O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water.

2 I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.

3 Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

4 I will praise you as long as I live,
and in your name I will lift up my hands.

5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

6 On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.

7 Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.

8 My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

9 They who seek my life will be destroyed;
they will go down to the depths of the earth.

10 They will be given over to the sword
and become food for jackals.

11 But the king will rejoice in God;
all who swear by God's name will praise him,
while the mouths of liars will be silenced.

Okay, so I should just come out and say it. I love the Psalms. It's tickles my feminine sensibilities. I love this Psalm because it is a great reminder to me that God will be our protector when we are in need of such services. The first verse reminds me of one of my favorite songs God, You Are My God by Rich Mullins.

One of the reasons this Psalm was on my mind is that this transition is about a journey...an adventure with God. We decided to step out in faith to see where God would lead us. Ryan and I are not risk takers at all, so this was a total leap of faith. So far I would say it's been great, not perfect you understand, but great. But things are always that way with God. :)

We are excited because today Ryan was contacted by one of the companies that he has applied with that is 45 mins. northeast of Harlowton. So we will see how things go with his interview next week. He was contacted by another company from New Jersey that has an opening in Texas. It was kind of crazy, but an unlikely opportunity because it was a six figure salary position. He still plans to apply because they contacted him and it will give him more practice with the application process.

Well, I shall return to life here in Harlowton where it has been raining since last evening. It reminded me of Texas storms. So, it has been in the 80s and 70s now that it's been raining. But, it has been in the 50s and 60s at night.

So What Does Harlowton, Montana Look Like You Ask?

2008-06-27T21:00:00.000-07:00

The view from our front yard...yes, I did say YARD people..yay!!!And by yard I mean about 20 X 20ft. square of green stuff that kind of flaps in the wind. :)

Our new apartment in progress. We will have to take more pics because it looks much nicer now.

One of the girls and the apartment as a whole. Ha, ha, ha! :)

Not sure what the girls were doing but daddy was photographing it for prosperity, I think.

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

I think I've posted this Psalm before, but everytime I've visited Montana I always think of this one. And right now with all the changes and challenges that I'm facing I naturally return to this passage.

We had the pastor and his family over for dinner last night and I was reminded that I'm a stranger in a strange...very strange place. :) It was a great opportunity to get to know them a little better. They haven't lived here all their lives either so that makes me feel a little better. So, yes...good times.

The thing that has been desperatly weighing on my mind is my family. I found out that they are mad at me, not that this is any surprise. Ryan and I knew this would be the response to a move like this. It pains me because I feel trapped. I feel as if I can't be an adult and decide what I want to be and do because it will disappoint them. On the other hand, I don't understand why I am so unlovable that I could be found so wanton by those who are called to love unconditionally. The funniest thing about it all I still have an amazing peace about it all. God's working something out; I hope it comes to pass soon. :) The other thing that I'm learning (being reminded of) through this is how I don't want to react to my girls when they have families of their own, making decisions for their families. I never want to forget that what they do has very little to do with me, nor is it an expression of rejection. So the bottom line is that my heart aches that I have to go through this AGAIN with them, but I know that God is at the center of this change in our lives, my faith is unmoved.

So I pray for strength to help me show them how much I love them and how that hasn't change, nor will it change. Ay de mi!!

Blessings In The Mist Of A Bad Day Filled With Chaos

2008-06-18T12:54:00.000-07:00

Okay...so we made it in one piece to our new apartment here in Harlowton, MT minus one crock shoe of Makala's. We hope it blesses whoever finds it in southern Colorado. :) So she has new ones that are pinker than the old ones. Yay!! :)

So, our first full day of unpacking wasn't a good one. It was one of those days that every little thing that can go wrong will. I'm not talking about big things...just little everyday things like you baby spits up on you in church and the next day pees all over your really nice clothes....so you're left looking like a frumpy mom. You know...like you can't hold on to anything to save your life or you loose or break your favorite thing in the world. Or you'd give anything if you could just have the ability to communicate clearly with your better half because if you have one more misunderstand you're gonna just give up on everything and go back to bed hoping when you wake up everything will be right...including your car's A/C will be working again. :)

This is why I believe God allows us to see the good in the mist of the chaos of life. With everything that went wrong I was reminded that we have the nicest place in Harlowton...albeit it is a retirement community basically, but it has a yard, a garage, slip proof shower (no chuckles please...I got in trouble for sharing that funny story...sorry babe!), the girls have a huge room with a huge closet (we thought about making the closet Raquel's room...but no windows, so nope), nice carpet...really nice carpet, and a vaulted ceiling...what more could we ask for? Perhaps a back door...he, he, he.

I'm longing for the day when there aren't any boxes to crawl over, but at the same time knowing that we have no idea how long we will be here is hard. I don't really want to take out anything extra from the boxes just to pack up in a couple of months. :) But then again we have such a nice place...and a pretty good view if you get in the right spot...that I'm not sure I would want to leave for a bigger place. Right now I'm not really sacrificing much in the way of comfort in my home with the exception of my kitchen...our new one is about 1/3 what we had but we don't have retarded cabinets...so it's not sooooo bad, like I said not much of a sacrifice so far. The only other thing we are sacrificing right now is that Montana (our cat) has to be at Ryan's parents and that is more of a blessing and answer to prayer because I'm not having to de-fur everything again. I love her and miss her. But it's nice to not have the fur ball furring up my home. Though I do still find myself looking for her when I see a shadow out of my peripheral...so I still miss her as I said.

But despite everything the apartment is coming together nicely. I hope to post pics here very soon, so you all can see how beautiful it is up here. Hope all is well with you all...until next time. Later!

An Informational Post

2008-06-10T15:59:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that I will be an internetless woman for awhile. I have have to partake of the in-law's internet when I can. So these will be my last few words.

Thanks for everything and off to the next chapter in this adventure we call life, eh?

The End Is Near...

2008-06-10T02:14:00.000-07:00

Matthew 7:13-14

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

Okay, so this was weird. This is a Scripture that was highlighted in the sermon that we heard Sunday in Dallas. Interesting....

So, it will have very little with what I will write in the following paragraphs, but I always find these coincidences something to note. I think at times God uses them to show us different things with the same Scripture and such.

We are almost done with our packing, and we have about a day an a half left before we make the 4 day trip to Montana to unpack our lives into a smaller apartment. I feel I should be overjoyed to be moving forward with my life, but to be honest I'm in deep pain. My thoughts have been held captive with the fact that I'm clueless how my brother is doing. It seems things aren't well with him, but I feel I'm being forced to focus on things that I feel are so trivial. I have wanted nothing more than to see him and let him know how much I love him. How much I will miss the ability to spend a random weekend with him and the family. I wish so much that I could carry their burden. But I know this burden isn't mine to carry. There's much that each of us must endure to fulfill our journey on this side of heaven and somethings are just not ours to bear.

So I place my trust in God and His ability to see his work to completion. I know that He is in the mist of my brother's situation because I'm overwhelmed by His peace. Yet, my heart breaks because I'm leaving without having the opportunity to say goodbye to those I've loved all my life. God's timing is perfect and I will wait on Him...He will strengthen me to endure my pain-stricken heart to endure this journey. I will persevere because He has a plan, and I eagerly wait to see this unfold. It has to be great because God is good...always.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

This has been my meditation as of late. I just don't know what to do. I spend most nights praying for my brother...even in my sleep I pray for him. I toss and turn, then I realize that I'm still praying for him. It's not the first time I've done this, but it's been a long time. It's exhausting, but I can't help it. So, I've had to remember the truth in the serenity prayer that we have to trust God for those things that are completely out of our control. And I'm in a situation where I feel that is true in every aspect of my life for the moment. More craziness abounds...

Who Likes Change?

2008-05-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

Psalm 62:1

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.

Hebrews 6:10

"God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them."

These scriptures were on my facebook page, and they spoke to me. Today I am facing one of the biggest changes in my life. We are moving forward with plans to move to Montana and for me this is huge! I've always lived in Texas with the exception of one summer and in those few months I was sooooo homesick for Texas. I know that there will be much that I will miss, but I've chosen to look at it as having the opportunity to experience things that I can't in Texas...like snowy mountains! :) This life is going to be so different and this both excites and scares me. There's so many unknowns which gives us opportunity to take our trust in God to the next level which both excites and scares me too! :)

These scriptures reminded me that my focus in this endeavor should be on God and remember that He is faithful, trustworthy, and always working things for the good of his children. So even though I struggle with what I will lose by moving on to do what's best for my family that God will provide just as he did before. I just have to trust in what I can't see from where I'm sitting at the moment. And in the end it will be awesome!

Bittersweet Memories...

2008-05-11T21:57:00.000-07:00

Deuteronomy 7:7-9 (NIV)

7 The LORD did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. 8 But it was because the LORD loved you and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. 9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands

Today, May 11th, 2008, marks the 16th anniversary of the passing of my aunt that raised me. It's bittersweet because today is Mother's Day. I remember this day all those years ago. Remembering all the things we did the day before in celebration of that Mother's Day...our last one together as a family. It's strange to think of all that has happened in the years that have passed.

The biggest change that has happened is the fact that I found the Lord in the year that followed her death. It's strange to think that she had to pass in order for me to find what would define the rest of my life. It is never easy to loose a loved one, but it seems even more deeply painful when we are asked to sacrifice that which is most dear or brings us the most comfort to follow the Lord. As we grow in our relationship with God submitting to His will seems to get a little easier, or at least the realization that we can not fight God's will thus it is easier to just be obedient. Maybe we should look at it from a little different perspective. We have to loose something in order to gain that which is better.

This scripture was on my facebook page today. I found it intriguing because it made me think of how time goes by, and though we forget our comittments God does not. He always does what's best for us even if we don't see it at the moment.

I know that our time in Longview is limited, and sometime in the next two years we will probably be somewhere else. Most likely we will be in Montana somewhere. This is hard for me because my heart is in Houston, but I see how much my husband loves Montana. I have to admit that I love Montana too, but it's not Houston. I'm sure it will never take the place of my birth. I'm always amazed at the breathtaking view from the house here. Mountians are everywhere and they are covered with snow at the moment. It's hard to not feel closer to God here. So I guess I have a different perspective on the idea of moving this time around. We aren't running away from anything, but sacrificing an easier life for one that would provide more focus on God. Who know if/when we will actually make it to Montana, but I feel that I'm learning more of the attitude that God desires from us when there is change on the horzion. Our focus shouldn't be place on what gives us pleasure, but that which God can use to grow His heart/character in us and bring more people into a relationship with Him. This is also the attitude that we should cling to in the area of death. It's easy to never want to loose a loved one, but sometimes it's more loving, more glorifying to God if we let go of what we desire/love so much to seek out a deeper relationship with God.

Lord help me to get this through my thick skull and may it be the meditation of my heart this week.

Life is Stress...Right?

2008-05-01T12:24:00.000-07:00

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

I've been busily trying to get everything in order before I leave Monday
night for Montana and keep up with our weekly activities. I feel like I'm
back in college at the end of the sememster and everything is due with
the impeding doom of finals hovering over my head. The main difference
is though there is no room for failure to complete the task, but it's not
the end of the world because I won't be out thousands of dollars to
take the class over. Ryan might have to do more things for himself, and what
wife would ever complain about such a thing. :)I prefer to give him a good
reason to miss me and not remind him that he often wonders why it was he married me.

So, in the mist of all my preperations for my trip and the emotional rollercoaster with what has happened with my brother and I realize
that I am stressed...pretty stressed. But at the same time I am
amazed to see just how much peace I've had throughout the past
couple of weeks. I've also been able to see how God IS working
everything out to happen at the right time, and I feel that my time
has been mulitpied...what a blessing is that? And the biggest thing
for me is that even though I've gotten about 6 hours of sleep each
night I've been able to have the energy to do my everyday activies
with the girls, as well as our evening activities. This is huge for two
reasons: first, as we all fight to keep everything in balance in our lifes
it's easy to commit to too much to where we burn out very quickly.
I never want to get involved in too many things that my girls have to
sacrific our time together. Second, I'm not a very happy person when
I don't get my sleep. I think Ryan told me once that it's hard to live with
me having very little sleep. I hope I am growing in that area. :)

Okay, to the verse above. It's one that is very special to me because in
college everyone has a "life verse", so I made this one mine. We used it
in our wedding and for Makala's dedication. I decided to spare everyone
from going through it again for Raquel's and to give her an individual experience.
Regardless, it's a scripture that I return to in time of run-away rollercoaster
times in my life to remind me how little control in most situations, and though
I'm free to worry about them, maybe even complicate them, it's really just wasted time and energy that is better spent taking care of the
things I have been given to do. Now...just can't let myself forget that in the
middle of all this stress because I do forget way too often!

When Tragedy Strikes...

2008-04-23T17:13:00.000-07:00

2 Corinthians 12 (NIV)

Paul's Vision and His Thorn
1I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord. 2I know a man in Christ who fourteen years ago was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in the body or out of the body I do not know—God knows. 3And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows— 4was caught up to paradise. He heard inexpressible things, things that man is not permitted to tell. 5I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. 6Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say.

7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I have tried for the past 5 days to figure out what I think and feel at the events that took place last Friday evening. I have been at a total loss for words, and for those who know me this is seems as if it were an impossibility.

My brother was in a terrible motorcycle accident, and his life has forever been altered. I want so much to say something to make it all better, but that is not realistic. I know that God is in the mist of this journey for my brother to endure, persevere, and hopefully grow into the man God desires him to be. Physical pain has enveloped every fiber of my being because with each passing moment I come to a new level of realization that he will have to figure out how to live his life with out his right arm. I know this doesn't mean that his life is over, but just more complicated...more of a struggle. There have been moments in these last few days that I've wished that I could change places with him because I know that as hard as it would be I would be able to hold my head up to praise God for this tragedy, perhaps with bitter tears from time to time, but I know in the end I could see God at work in my life. My brother doesn't have this
relationship with his God. Perhaps, at times it is harder to trust God to do for your loved ones what he does for you.

What's In A Name?

2008-04-18T10:57:00.000-07:00

Ephesians 5:1-21 (NIV)

1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

3But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.[a] 6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. 7Therefore do not be partners with them.

8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:
"Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you."

15Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is. 18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ryan's family name makes some people cringe. The original spelling of the name was Dyck, but Americans wanted to pronounce it dyke, which is apparently the Dutch pronunciation, not the German. In German it is supposed to be pronounced dick. Some other interesting perspectives on the meaning of the name are as follows:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyck_language

"Scottish and English: from a short form of Richard. Although found in every part of Britain, the form Dick is especially common in Scotland, and it was from there, in the 17th century, that the surname was taken to northern Ireland.
German and Jewish (Ashkenazic): nickname from Middle High German dic(ke) ‘thick’, ‘strong’, ‘stout’, or in the case of the Jewish name from modern German dick ‘fat’ or Yiddish dik.
German: topographic name for someone who lived by a thicket or patch of thick undergrowth, from Middle High German dicke, a special use of dic(ke) ‘thick’.
North German: from a short form of a Germanic personal name Theodicho, formed with theud ‘people’, ‘race’." http://www.ancestry.com/facts/Dick-name-meaning.ashx

I bring this up because a dear friend of mine told me she felt she couldn't type my blog name as it is to share with others, and this is fine because I'm all about whatever pushes you towards walking blameless before God. I actually haven't thought about our last name in that way in such a long time since a huge part of my life is teaching two girls how important it is to have a relationship with God. Ryan and I felt we wouldn't make a big deal about our last name and even avoid that conversation until someone else brought it to their attention. We decided we would take this time to teach them what being a Dick meant by pointing out the character that has been a legacy handed down through the generations in Ryan's family. The name Dick in Harlowton, MT means that you are completely devoted to God, honest, loving, a servant, hard working, and a man/woman of amazing integrity. I had my issues with the name for a while when Ryan and I were first married, but when Ryan's grandfather died I began to truly understand what it meant to be a part of the Dick family. I'm thankful for Ryan and his family and every bit of who they are, and I feel so honored that I'm a part of this family. So, I just want my intentions to be very clear
that I don't mean anything offensive or the likes with the name of my blog. It honestly was just being at a loss for a title, and it was also a familiar saying between us and close friends. I know most people do not ever think about our name in that way, which brings me to the above passage. I've thought about this passage a lot in the context of how to deal with such issues with our name like we have here. I honestly believe the behaviors described above begin with the attitudes in our hearts since it refers to 'us' as children--seeing things from an innocent point of view. Then through this attitude of the heart we will not be disobedient to God in our actions, but at the same time being conscious of those we surround ourselves with because when we open ourselves up to these behaviors (or being exposed to them) we are standing on a very slippery slope that will end us up in disobedience if we do not diligently watch ourselves. So, perhaps, if we see evil in things that we shouldn't this tells a lot about our own motivations and attitudes.

So, this is what I "feel" that I've learn about this subject since Ryan and I got engaged, and having to deal with these attitudes towards my name specifically. I don't think I've completely figured every aspect of the first part of Ephesian 5, but I am always trying to regain my innocence so that I can protect my girls from a world that is constantly trying to socialize them otherwise. I trust God fully to bring this to fruition because this is something only God can restore. How awesome is He?

In The Beginning...

2008-04-17T07:24:00.000-07:00

I decided to start off my blogging career (or something like that) with one of my favorite passages from God's Word.

1 John 4:7-21 ( (NIV)

God's Love and Ours
7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[a] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[b] our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

13We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

19We love because he first loved us. 20If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

This is something that I've been meditating upon a lot lately. This is probably because, to be very honest, I struggle with hating Longview. The old adage of a love-hate relationship is how I would describe my feelings about this town. It has gotten better over the past year, but it's still hard. I'm trying to move on by making a life here, though I think a root canal would be less painful. But no pain, no gain, right? What breaks you makes you stronger? Why do these spurring words bring no comfort, nor encouragement? Who but God knows ?! Sometimes we are just require to obey only to learn later the why, or sometimes we never find out. Can you tell I've read through Job lately? :) Though this makes me think perhaps the why is just so that we will have something to talk to God about in eternity. Ha, ha...maybe so, maybe no!

Another aspect of this struggle, I believe, is the fact that the process of learning to be truly content where you're at is all about trusting God. Yes, I do realize this isn't the most profound thing I've ever thought, but it is fundamental, as well as something that is often forgotten. God gave me a passage almost 7 years ago. Strangely enough it was a verse a girl in 8th grade showed me when I first became a Christian. She wasn't one of my friends, just a girl in my math/science class. She said, "Here, lemme see your Bible. This is my favorite passage...Psalm 91." I remember reading it and thinking, 'What in the world does that mean?'" After God brought it to my attention 7 years ago I was lucky enough to have a study Bible, so I got it a little more this time around.
It's a picture of trust, and what God is able to do in a trusting
relationship.

So, as I start this blogging endeavor I thought it would be best to set my mind to express the meditations of my heart since I don't really have someone to share such thoughts with,
as well as the mere fact that I rarely get to show my pensive side to those I do know. The life
of a nervous, socially awkward person, eh?