Monday, May 19, 2008

Who Likes Change?

Psalm 62:1

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.


Hebrews 6:10

"God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them."


These scriptures were on my facebook page, and they spoke to me.  Today I am facing one of the biggest changes in my life.  We are moving forward with plans to move to Montana and for me this is huge!  I've always lived in Texas with the exception of one summer and in those few months I was sooooo homesick for Texas.  I know that there will be much that I will miss, but I've chosen to look at it as having the opportunity to experience things that I can't in Texas...like snowy mountains!  :)  This life is going to be so different and this both excites and scares me.  There's so many unknowns which gives us opportunity to take our trust in God to the next level which both excites and scares me too!  :)

These scriptures reminded me that my focus in this endeavor should be on God and remember that He is faithful, trustworthy, and always working things for the good of his children.  So even though I struggle with what I will lose by moving on to do what's best for my family that God will provide just as he did before.  I just have to trust in what I can't see from where I'm sitting at the moment.  And in the end it will be awesome!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Bittersweet Memories...

Deuteronomy 7:7-9 (NIV)

7 The LORD did not set his affection on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. 8 But it was because the LORD loved you and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt. 9 Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands

Today, May 11th, 2008, marks the 16th anniversary of the passing of my aunt that raised me. It's bittersweet because today is Mother's Day. I remember this day all those years ago. Remembering all the things we did the day before in celebration of that Mother's Day...our last one together as a family. It's strange to think of all that has happened in the years that have passed.

The biggest change that has happened is the fact that I found the Lord in the year that followed her death. It's strange to think that she had to pass in order for me to find what would define the rest of my life. It is never easy to loose a loved one, but it seems even more deeply painful when we are asked to sacrifice that which is most dear or brings us the most comfort to follow the Lord. As we grow in our relationship with God submitting to His will seems to get a little easier, or at least the realization that we can not fight God's will thus it is easier to just be obedient. Maybe we should look at it from a little different perspective. We have to loose something in order to gain that which is better.

This scripture was on my facebook page today. I found it intriguing because it made me think of how time goes by, and though we forget our comittments God does not. He always does what's best for us even if we don't see it at the moment.

I know that our time in Longview is limited, and sometime in the next two years we will probably be somewhere else. Most likely we will be in Montana somewhere. This is hard for me because my heart is in Houston, but I see how much my husband loves Montana. I have to admit that I love Montana too, but it's not Houston. I'm sure it will never take the place of my birth. I'm always amazed at the breathtaking view from the house here. Mountians are everywhere and they are covered with snow at the moment. It's hard to not feel closer to God here. So I guess I have a different perspective on the idea of moving this time around. We aren't running away from anything, but sacrificing an easier life for one that would provide more focus on God. Who know if/when we will actually make it to Montana, but I feel that I'm learning more of the attitude that God desires from us when there is change on the horzion. Our focus shouldn't be place on what gives us pleasure, but that which God can use to grow His heart/character in us and bring more people into a relationship with Him. This is also the attitude that we should cling to in the area of death. It's easy to never want to loose a loved one, but sometimes it's more loving, more glorifying to God if we let go of what we desire/love so much to seek out a deeper relationship with God.

Lord help me to get this through my thick skull and may it be the meditation of my heart this week.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Life is Stress...Right?

Psalm 121

A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

I've been busily trying to get everything in order before I leave Monday
night for Montana and keep up with our weekly activities.  I feel like I'm
back in college at the end of the sememster and everything is due with
the impeding doom of finals hovering over my head.  The main difference
is though there is no room for failure to complete the task, but it's not
the end of the world because I won't be out thousands of dollars to
take the class over.  Ryan might have to do more things for himself, and what 
wife would ever complain about such a thing.  :)I prefer to give him a good 
reason to miss me and not remind him that he often wonders why it was he married me.

So, in the mist of all my preperations for my trip and the emotional rollercoaster with what has happened with my brother and I realize 
that I am stressed...pretty stressed.  But at the same time I am 
amazed to see just how much peace I've had throughout the past
couple of weeks.  I've also been able to see how God IS working
everything out to happen at the right time, and I feel that my time
has been mulitpied...what a blessing is that?  And the biggest thing
for me is that even though I've gotten about 6 hours of sleep each
night I've been able to have the energy to do my everyday activies
with the girls, as well as our evening activities.  This is huge for two
reasons: first, as we all fight to keep everything in balance in our lifes
it's easy to commit to too much to where we burn out very quickly. 
I never want to get involved in too many things that my girls have to
sacrific our time together.  Second, I'm not a very happy person when
I don't get my sleep.  I think Ryan told me once that it's hard to live with
me having very little sleep.  I hope I am growing in that area.  :)

Okay, to the verse above.  It's one that is very special to me because in
college everyone has a "life verse", so I made this one mine.  We used it
in our wedding and for Makala's dedication.  I decided to spare everyone
from going through it again for Raquel's and to give her an individual experience.  
Regardless, it's a scripture that I return to in time of run-away rollercoaster
times in my life to remind me how little control in most situations, and though
I'm free to worry about them, maybe even complicate them, it's really just wasted time and energy that is better spent taking care of the 
things I have been given to do.  Now...just can't let myself forget that in the
middle of all this stress because I do forget way too often!